Sunday, February 29, 2004

2004 Academy Awards. Part 1

8 p.m. Oscar pre-show

Billy Bush from “Access Hollywood” is in limo with Keisha Castle-Hughes, the 13-year-old actress nominee. Keisha looks a bit perplexed by Billy. Why is he a somebody?

  Lots of great dresses on the actresses tonight. So far, I have not seen anything that frightens me. Catherine Zeta-Jones is wearing a sleeveless red dress and some Botox on her forehead. Marcia Gay Haren has on a pretty blue dress and looks as if she may give birth at any time. Angelina Jolie does not look like a freak! She is wearing a lovely cream satin dress with a wrap. The “Billy Bob” tattoo on her arm is gone, thank God. Diane Keaton is in a black fedora and gloves (and other clothing).

  Now for the men. Benicio del Toro looks like a scary homeless man. Jude

Law! Oh my. I could eat him up with a spoon! Ahhhhhhhh! Ohhhhhhh! I need a minute…Heavens! Here is Johnny Depp! His beautiful, lustrous hair is shorter with highlights. Oh my, oh my, oh my…….

  8:30 p.m. The show starts!

  It is Billy Crystal, in “The Return of the Host.” Billy is Gollum! He is in “Mystic River!” He is riding Seabiscuit. Billy is naked. Hmm. Billy has little man breast nubs. Now he is singing songs about all the nominated movies. Heh.

  Best Supporting Actor: Tim Robbins wins. Yea. He was good.

  “Oh boy! Wow!” he says. Then he thanks Clint Eastwood for “making my mantel very crowded.”  Boring awards I am skipping...

1 comment:

imalittleinkblot said...

luff johnny! hated his hair, tho. ick. marcia's hair: also alarming. as big as her belly was. and that braid! benicio: skeery. angelina: yummy. renee z's dress: yikes. julia r: beeyooteous. etc, etc.....