Tuesday, January 10, 2012

An Ode to My 20s


I like these scrunchy ankle boots
I like Philadelphia
I miss Villanova
Do I like this guy?
Should I date this guy?
When will he call?
Screw it, I will call him.
He wasn't home.
Fuck him, I am going out dancing!
Beer
The Cure
Laugh
I like this guy
I love this guy
He dumped me
I hate myself
I hate my body
TV
Movies
Beer
I will  now call all my friends and cry
Depression
More crying
Feeling better
Fuck him, I am going out dancing!
Shoes
U2
Travel
I like myself
I like writing
I love writing
Laugh
Beer
U2
Why the hell are my parents so weird?
I like this guy
But I also like THIS guy
I will date both these guys!
Wait a minute, they both came to see me tonight at my apartment!
At the same time!
I think I will drink this whole bottle
Wine
Pick one guy
That was wrong
Pick the other guy
Move to a new apartment
Then another
Travel
I love him
He loves me
He dumps me
Cry
Call all my friends and cry
Beer
Write
Write more
Travel
Work
Work more
Why won't they fucking edit my story already so I can GO HOME?
Oh my God. It's the copy desk calling at 11 p.m.
The mall
Move to a new city
New job
Move again to another city
Beer
Karaoke
New job
New friends
Lots of friends
Laugh
Is every single one of my friends getting married?
Bridesmaid seven times
Sang "Ave Maria"
Sang it again
And again
I like this guy
Now this guy
Dumped
I hate him
I hate myself
Write a personal ad
Date
A lot
This time, I do the dumping
Beer
More writing
Am I any good at this?
Am I any good as a writer?
As a journalist?
I just wish I knew
Maybe I stink at this
I think I stink at this
No, I am good at this
My boobs look good
My boss hates me
Insomnia Anxiety Depression Therapy
No more beer
No more guys who make me cry
I like myself more now
I can write
Fuck it, I am gonna sing show tunes!

(My birthday is coming up soon. While I am not all that thrilled to be aging or to be over 40, there are MANY aspects of being older that are great. For one thing, a lot less angst! I know who I am, and what I am capable of, and how strong I am. I know I will survive. Hey, hey.)