2004 Academy Awards. Part 2

9:30 p.m. Liv Tyler is introducing the Best Song nominees. She has some odd hairstyle, swept off to one side and a dress with a bow on the butt. It reminds me of one of my bridesmaid dresses, yet less floral.

I like the two songs from "Cold Mountain," one of them is sung by Sting! "My Ain True Love." He is playing some instrument I don't recognize and singing with Allison Krause. Very folky.

Okay, two more songs and now lots of boring awards and boring stuff. I am tired of sitting at the computer. Will finish in the morning. Happy Oscars!

 

2004 Academy Awards. Part 1

8 p.m. Oscar pre-show

Billy Bush from “Access Hollywood” is in limo with Keisha Castle-Hughes, the 13-year-old actress nominee. Keisha looks a bit perplexed by Billy. Why is he a somebody?

  Lots of great dresses on the actresses tonight. So far, I have not seen anything that frightens me. Catherine Zeta-Jones is wearing a sleeveless red dress and some Botox on her forehead. Marcia Gay Haren has on a pretty blue dress and looks as if she may give birth at any time. Angelina Jolie does not look like a freak! She is wearing a lovely cream satin dress with a wrap. The “Billy Bob” tattoo on her arm is gone, thank God. Diane Keaton is in a black fedora and gloves (and other clothing).

  Now for the men. Benicio del Toro looks like a scary homeless man. Jude

Law! Oh my. I could eat him up with a spoon! Ahhhhhhhh! Ohhhhhhh! I need a minute…Heavens! Here is Johnny Depp! His beautiful, lustrous hair is shorter with highlights. Oh my, oh my, oh my…….

  8:30 p.m. The show starts!

  It is Billy Crystal, in “The Return of the Host.” Billy is Gollum! He is in “Mystic River!” He is riding Seabiscuit. Billy is naked. Hmm. Billy has little man breast nubs. Now he is singing songs about all the nominated movies. Heh.

  Best Supporting Actor: Tim Robbins wins. Yea. He was good.

  “Oh boy! Wow!” he says. Then he thanks Clint Eastwood for “making my mantel very crowded.”  Boring awards I am skipping...

Ambition, cocaine and alcohol abuse

http://www.nytimes.com/2004/02/27/national/27BOOK.html

Jayson Blair's new book reveals that he committed his acts of plagiarism because of ambition, cocaine and alcohol abuse. And that was just one Friday night.... (just kidding) And no I am NOT going to buy his book. Although I may glance at a copy, for free, whilst sipping a decaf mocha at Barnes and Nobel.

An open letter to Jayson Blair

http://poynter.org/forum/?id=letters

In which I give Jayson Blair some advice:

2/25/2004 4:34:03 PM

From KATHRYN QUIGLEY: Subject -- An open letter to Jayson Blair.

Dear Mr. Blair,

  First you wanted to give money to UMD, my alma mater, for a scholarship. A decent idea, but really, who exactly would want to be the recipient of such a scholarship? Think about it.
  Now your publisher says you want to give part of the proceeds from your book (and dude, what is UP with that wacky title?) to mental health organizations.This is good. But donate the money and shut up about it already!
  Stop seeking public acclaim for your donations. Donate. 
   Stop trying to tell people you have changed. Change. 
 Stop trying to impress people with how much healthier you are. Be healthy.            
But do this on your OWN and out of the spotlight. I realize this is impossible since you have a book coming out and will be on a book tour. However, in the long run, this will have more meaning and resonance.
  And consider giving up on trying to get people at UMD to forgive you. Let me explain it this way - it is sort of like a breakup when one half of the relationship (in this case, you) acts like a jerk, yet still wants to be friends. It never works, especially if the other party is disgusted with you (in this case, for extremely good reasons). 
  Instead, grow up. Learn and mature. Don't just say you want to become a better person, become one. And then, perhaps then, after time has passed, you can revisit those you hurt and try to repair the relationship.
  Although I'm thinking even in ten or fifteen years, you will still want to stay far, far away from anybody at the New York Times. That is one relationship you screwed up way too badly to ever repair. And trust me, this book isn't going to help.

The finale of "Sex and the City." (Sob!) Part 1

  Lord. I really needed that extra napkin from the Wawa for tonight’s episode. I was sobbing away. Not sure what I think about Carrie winding up with “Big.” I just don’t think he is right for her or that he will make her happy in the long run. But heck, they look happy. And they are FICTIONAL characters, so I can’t really invest too much in this. But I do!

  Also, “Big’s” real name is John! Yikes. I have bad luck with “J” names. But as I said before, Carrie is a fictional character. Must stop identifying. Must stop identifying.

  The score on bra straps: one. The score on weird hats: one.

  “Maybe it’s time to be clear about who I am.” Go Carrie!

  Well, it did look as though Carrie was very glad to see Big when he walked into the hotel. And I enjoyed how they made the whole scene in the hallway to be humorous. Up till then, it was getting a bit heavy.

  “I think I am going to kick some Russian ass!” Hee Hee.

  The best line of the night went to Anthony as he walked into Chanel and bellowed “Chanello!” Hee Hee.

  Let’s see. The Carrie stuff. Having her meet Alex’s wife, Juliette, was FAScinating. Very revealing.

(Continued in Part 2...)

The finale of "Sex and the City." Sob!

  (Continued from Part 1)

  I want to go to Paris. I want to eat pastries in Paris. But I will NOT wear stilettos in Paris. Truly, Carrie may have had a better time if she wore the proper footwear!

  I liked how they wrapped up Samanatha and Smith. Very touching and true. There should be MORE of Jason Lewis shirtless! More! More!

  Charlotte gets a Chinese baby! Yea! This is a sign that I should adopt a Chinese baby! The telelvision is talking to me and giving me signs!

  I really started crying at the scene with Magda and Miranda. (Although when I get married, I hope I don’t have to bathe my loony mother-in-law).

  Magda: “What you did, that is love.”

  Sob. And the show is over. Sob.

"Sex and the City" might become a movie!!!

http://abcnews.go.com/wire/Entertainment/ap20040219_1408.html

NEW YORK Feb. 19 — (Associated Press) This weekend may not be the swan song for "Sex and the City." The series' top executive, Michael Patrick King, and the show's cast is in discussions with HBO about a movie that would continue the saga of the four New York City friends, HBO spokeswoman Tobe Becker said Thursday.

Becker would not comment specifically on a Variety report that HBO is trying to wrap up deals with series stars Sarah Jessica Parker, Kim Cattrall, Cynthia Nixon and Kristin Davis to bring their roles to the big screen.

While movie adaptations of popular TV shows are fairly common, it's far more unusual to bring the original cast of a TV show to a movie played in theaters.

The final episode of the HBO series is to air Sunday with the question lingering: Will Carrie Bradshaw ditch her artist boyfriend in Paris and return to the city she loves and/or Big, her philandering former flame?

Edited versions of the HBO series will begin appearing on cable's TBS later this year

Farrah's new nose. VERY disturbing

http://www.thesun.co.uk/article/0,,2-2004072332,00.html

DON'T shake it like a Polaroid picture!

http://abcnews.go.com/wire/Entertainment/reuters20040217_247.html

Polaroid saying shaking its pictures ruins them. Who knew.

New episode of "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy" on 2/17!

http://www.bravotv.com/Queer_Eye_for_the_Straight_Guy/

Yea! A new episode. Finally! I love these guys sooooooooo much and want to go Glo-Bowling with them.

No scholarship in honor of Jayson Blair at UMD

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A43151-2004Feb15.html

Good for my alma mater, UMD, for saying a big NO to Jayson Blair's publisher who wanted to set up a journalism scholarship at UMD. No. Just, no.

Jayson Blair's Money No Good at U-Md.

• The Jayson Blair Journalism Scholarship: What a concept.

Michael Viner, who published Blair's new book, "Burning Down My Master's House," told Editor & Publisher that the lying plagiarist -- booted from the New York Times last year -- would give a portion of his advance to charity, maybe setting up a scholarship at the University of Maryland, which he attended.

"It will be up to him what the amount will be," Viner said. "But it will be enough for more than one scholarship. He did not want to promote that and make it a promotional device, he just wanted to do it."

No thanks, says Tom Kunkel, dean of Maryland's Philip Merrill College of Journalism.

"Obviously we'd never take such ill-gotten money; no journalism school would ever be interested in profiting from such crimes against journalism. We didn't appreciate the suggestion, and we've made that position very clear to the publisher."

Nigerian Scam letter

I seem to be on the Nigerian Scam E-mail hotlist. SOOOOO annoying. I am going to post some of the best ones. (And why are these e-mails always in capital letters????)

Subj:GOOD DAY Date:2/16/2004 8:19:24 AM Eastern Standard TimeFrom:freduche10@ny.comTo:freduche10@ny.comSent from the Internet (Details)I AM THE MANAGER OF BILLS AND EXCHANGE AT THE FOREIGN
REMITTANCE DEPARTMENT OF THE UNION BANK NIGERIA PLC. WE DISCOVERED AN ABANDONED SUM $18.5M USD EIGHTEEN POINT FIVE MILLION UNITED STATES DOLLARS ONLY IN AN ACCOUNT THAT BELONG TO ONE OF OUR FOREIGN CUSTOMER (MR. XAVIER ARIGONI) WHO DIED ALONG WITH HIS
ENTIRE FAMILY IN NOVERMBER, 2002 IN AN ADC PLANE CRASH AT EGIRIN RIVER. (This is very tragic! A plane crash!)SINCE WE GOT INFORMATION UNFORTUNATELY, NEITHER THE FAMILY MEMBERS NOR THE RELATION HAS APPEARED TO CLAIM THIS MONEY. (Oh no!)WE AGREE THAT 40% OF THE MONEY WILL BE FOR YOU AS FOREIGN PARTNER.THEREFORE TO ENABLE THE IMMEDIATE TRANSFER OF THE FUND TO YOU AS INDICATED, YOU MUST APPLY FIRST TO THE BANK AS A RELATION OR NEXT OF KIN OF THE DECEASED;
INDICATING YOUR BANK ACCOUNT NUMBER AND LOCATION WHERE
THE MONEY WILL BE REMITTED. fred_UCHE13@YAHOO.CO.UK (Hm. A different e-mail than above! And why is it from the UK if he is in Nigeria?)

Seeking real, not retail devotion

http://www.philly.com/mld/inquirer/news/opinion/local1/7943797.htm

Here is my anti-Valentine's Day column in The Philadelphia Inquirer today.

Flowers, cards, candy. BLEAH! (Unless someone is giving them to me.)

Only six shopping days till my birthday!

My birthday is Feb. 18, shared by John Travolta, Molly Ringwald, Matt Dillon and Yoko Ono. E-mail wishes, e-cards, flowers and e-mailed pictures of flowers will be accepted. Hee.

This bank robber SIGNED the note!

http://www.palmbeachpost.com/localnews/content/auto/epaper/editions/tuesday/local_news_048216c1e4ebd08000ec.html

Stupid criminal

http://www.philly.com/mld/philly/7915349.htm

Here is a story about a stupid criminal who robbed the bank near where I used to live in Northeast Philadelphia. Rule #1 of bank robbing: Bring a BAG for the cash! Don't just run out of the bank carrying handfuls of bills!

Posted on Tue, Feb. 10, 2004Police: Off-duty officer foils bank robber's escape

An off-duty Philadelphia police officer out with his wife in the Mayfair section of the city yesterday morning spoiled a bank robber's getaway, according to police.

The drama began shortly before 10 a.m., when Officer Gregory Rice, 31, a 10-year veteran assigned to the Fifth Police District, saw a man running out of the Wachovia Bank branch at 6420 Frankford Ave. The man was clutching a pile of money. Rice, in his car parked across the street, saw the man jump into a blue 1981 Mazda 626 and speed off.

Rice followed the Mazda while his wife called 911, police said. The pursuit continued for about 16 blocks to the 3400 block of Tyson Avenue, where the man ditched the Mazda and tried to run off. Rice caught him after a short pursuit, police said. Police said more than $1,700 was recovered. The suspect was turned over to the FBI for prosecution, police said.

The FBI identified the suspect as Thomas Hefferon, 52, a Philadelphia police officer from 1971 to 1977, whose last known address is in Pennsauken. Hefferon was in federal custody last night awaiting a federal detention hearing.

Grammy Awards. Part 1

Alas, this can not be a full Grammy analysis because I missed a bunch of it. Still, I caught enough to expound upon. Here is the list of winners if you want more:

http://www.cnn.com/2004/SHOWBIZ/Music/02/08/grammy.winners/index.html 

The first award I caught was Best Male Pop Vocalist. Nominees included George Harrison and Warren Zevon. Justin Timberlake won. This is wrong.

  “I’m humbled,” Justin said. Good.

  Justin took this moment in the national spotlight to address the dress-ripping/boob-revealing spectacle of last week’s Super Bowl halftime show.

  “Listen, I know it’s been a rough week,” he said. "What occurred was unintentional, completely regrettable and I apologize if you guys were offended.”

  Patti Labelle introduced a tribute to Luther Vandross, who is recovering from a stroke. Before Boobgate, Janet Jackson was supposed to present the award. Celine Dion had no sound for part of the Luther tribute.

  After I watched “Sex and the City,” there was a tribute to funk.Or as super-cool Samuel L. Jackson described it, “The Church of Eternal Funk.” Earth, Wind and Fire performed. Whoo Ho! The guitarist wore fuzzy fur boots. I must get some. EW&F was then joined by Outkast, who performed “I Like the Way You Move.” 

   Here was an award surprise: “Clocks” by Coldplay won for Record of the Year. Chris Martin dedicated the award to the late Johnny Cash and to Democratic candidate John Kerry, “who I hope will be president.” Hey, isn’t Chris Martin English?

Grammy Awards. Part 2

Look! It is “America’s Favorite Couple,” Sharon and Ozzy Osbourne. He seemed to be nicely recovered from his ATV accident.
  “I’m just happy to be anywhere,” Ozzy said. Sharon giggled.

   “HELLOO!” Ozzy yelled to the crowd. Yep, he is still on painkillers.

  They presented Best Rock Performance by a Duo or Group. And the Grammy goes to: Warren Zevon and Bruce Springsteen. Zevon’s son, Jordan, accepted for him and called him “an incredible father.”

  (Here is an unrelated thought: It is a mistake to buy generic Q-Tips from the Dollar Store. They are subpar. Now, back to our program.)

  It’s the Song of the Year award. One of the nominees is Richard Marx. Huh.

  Guess what!!! The Grammy goes to: Richard Marx and Luther Vandross for “Dance with my Father!” Luther’s business manager accepts for him. He read a statement from him.

  “Thank you for your belief for me and my music,” Luther wrote. 

  It’s Outkast again! SHRIEK! They are dressed like green American Indians. I don’t know why, but who cares. Here is a marching band.

  “Shake it like a Polaroid Picture. Hey Ya!”

  Album of the Year goes to Outkast! Yea!

Deptford in 2014.

  This is my latest column for the South Jersey section of The Philadelphia Inquirer. The topic was to envision my neighborhood in 2014. So I envisioned myself married to George Clooney.

 

http://www.philly.com/mld/philly/7892707.htm

   The year is 2014. In my vision of a perfect world, I, Mrs. George Clooney, am out for a stroll through my neighborhood in Deptford.

  (Why are you living in Deptford if you are married to George Clooney, you may ask. Why aren't you in one of his mansions? Good question. The answer is that George likes the serene nature of my wooded apartment complex in Deptford. Plus, it works better for this story.)

 

Never Met The Man

http://www.editorandpublisher.com/eandp/search/article_display.jsp?vnu_content_id=2085425

Editor & Publisher magazine named Edward Sears as Editor of the Year for the Palm Beach Post. The Post rocks. It is a great paper and I was proud to work there. I have no idea about Sears as an editor. Why? Because in two years working at the Post (2000-2002) I never met the man. Never. Met. The. Man.

He has an office on a different floor from the newsroom. The other editors go upstairs to meet with him. I think I saw him in the newsroom once. Never had a conversation with the guy and I don't think he would have known me if he tripped on me. I can list at least a dozen other former and current Post reporters who also never met Sears.

The Post deserves to be recognized. But Sears? Beats me.

Television Without Pity

http://www.televisionwithoutpity.com/

This is one of my favorite websites. It is called Television Without Pity and it is a detailed recap of most television shows - a recap with an attitude. Did you miss Sunday's episode of "Sex and the City?" Well, here it is on TWOP. Read away.

A scathing and really funny critique of Joe Eszterhas' memoir

http://www.newyorker.com/critics/books/?040209crbo_books

Some writers are pure poets. Some are master wordsmiths. And some are Joe Eszterhas, the larger-than-life screenwriter of such Hollywood masterpieces as "Showgirls," "Basic Instinct," "Flashdance" and "Sliver."

He has written a memoir, called Hollywood Animal. There is a really funny and scathing criticism of the book in this week's New Yorker. Read it for a chuckle. I laughed so hard I snorted.

Janet and Justin apologize

http://www.mtv.com/news/articles/1484738/02012004/jackson_janet.jhtml

I would like to thank Justin Timberlake's publicist for coming up with the most creative excuse I have ever read: "wardrobe malfunction." That was the reason given for Justin helping Janet flash her right boob to the universe. Hmmm.

Let me just point out that their might be deadly ricin in office buildings for Congress (www.cnn.com) and we are all talking about Janet's boob.

Thoughts on the new All-Star "Survivor"

1) Could not believe Richard Hatch got naked so quick.
2) Shut up Jenna
3) If they knew it was going to rain, why didn't they create some rain collection device in which they could store drinking water?
4) I hope Sue gets a tummy full of parasites
5) I love Rudy
6) Shut up Jenna
7) Don't make Tina gooo! I like Tina!!!!
8) I bet they all smell