While some literary license is taken, all events reported are true and taken from Public Safety reports.
Location: Football Field
Officers were dispatched to the football field for a report of theft. Upon arrival they were told by a grounds employee that during the evening someone had used bolt cutters to break the lock of the equipment shed. A chainsaw was missing. The lock was found about 10 feet from the shed and was brought back to headquarters. It was placed into an evidence bag, which was then placed into the evidence locker.
Officers met with Triad residents who called Public Safety regarding criminal mischief in their apartment. The residents stated that on the previousday as he and another roommate were leaving, they witnessed another roommate coming in with between 15 and 20 guests. "Later when they returned the apartment was severely damaged. Window screen was ripped, holes in walls, clothing removed from room and thrown about, used condom under desk, urine in water bottle, and cabinets in disarray." The police report also made ambiguous mention of something else involving shaving cream. Public Safety photographed damage and forwarded a report to housing services. This crime log reporter humbly requests that he be invited to any further events that might take place in the previously mentioned apartment.
Location: North Halls Parking Lot
Officers witnessed two individuals destroying a bicycle in the parking lot adjacent to Chestnut Hall. When confronted, the subjects claimed that they were playing a joke on a friend of theirs who lived in nearby on campus housing. The name they had given of their friend proved to be fake when it was run through student records. The suspects were found letting air out of the bike's tires, wrapping the tire around the seat and attempting to remove the seat. Both subjects smelled of alcohol and appeared to be very intoxicated. They later admitted to destroying the bicycle and not knowing the owner. They agreed to pay restitution to the bicycles actual owner. Throughout the incident, one of the subjects continuously gave false information regarding his identification, but once taken into custody, he started cooperating. Both individuals were charged with criminal mischief.