How newspapers plot their anti-Bush coverage

(This is a JOKE, for the few Republicans who read this weblog and may need that explained to them.)

http://www.ctnow.com/news/nationworld/hc-caucus0609.artjun09,0,6474566.story

CAUCUS People, Politics, Punditry

Hartford Courant

By Jim Shea
June 9 2004

LEFT BIAS? THAT'S ALL RIGHT BY US

On a fairly regular basis, newspapers are accused of acting in concert to slant their coverage of President Bush.

This is, of course, true.

Although newspapers generally act independently, when it comes to President Bush they take great pains to always be on the same page.

Here is an inside look at how the process works at a typical newspaper:

First thing every morning, the top editors meet to discuss how the paper will be unfair and negative toward the president in the next day's paper.

This anti-Bush meeting is nicknamed "Get Shorty," and is presided over by the Skew Editor, who is generally, but not always, the most rabid Bush hater on the staff.

After a general plan of attack is agreed upon, the Skew Editor communicates with his counterparts at other newspapers to make sure everyone has their distortions straight.

While this is occurring, political editors at individual newspapers are meeting with their staffs to assign stories, and fill them in on the tone and content of their reporting.

These meetings can get pretty heated, particularly when a reporter feels the chosen direction of a story could come across as being even-handed.

It might be good to digress here for just a second to discuss how a reporter becomes a political writer.

Essentially, it is a fairly straightforward career path. Whenever an opening for a political writer comes up, the most liberal journalist in the pool of applicants is given the job.

As you may well imagine, paring down the list is extremely difficult given the left-of-communism leanings of pretty much all journalists.

Occasionally, the job of political writer will go to a reporter who has views that might be considered moderate or mainstream, but these people never last.

Conservatives are also excluded, unless they are so far to the right politically that they come across as wacko, in which case they are usually made op-ed columnists.

Anyway, after the political writers and editors get done molding stories to fit their preconceived notions, copies are faxed to the Democratic National Committee and the Kerry Campaign for final tweaking.

The stories then go to the copy desk, where the headlines are written.

A word about copy editors:

Copy editors who handle political stories are mainly selected on their ability to qualify headlines. This talent is important in the event that there is positive news about President Bush that cannot be buried deep inside the paper. You have no doubt seen their work:

500,000 Jobs Created in May, But a Guy in Ohio Is Still Out of Work.