I am flipping between NBC and E! Television pre-show coverage. On E!, Joan Rivers is wearing some dead thing around her neck. Her daughter, Melissa, is wearing a vintage red beaded thing. At the end of the broadcast. Joan and Melissa bicker in a weird, passive-aggressive way that makes me think they need family counseling. Everyone is double air-kissing Joan. Shut up, Melissa. I realize that some stars are simply stupid, i.e. Alicia Silverstone.
Fergie, a.k.a. the Duchess of York is there.
Ya havent done so bad for yourself, says Melissa.
I think not, says Fergie.
Shut up, Melissa.
On NBC, Ling Ling is interviewing Johnny Depp. Ahhhhh! Johnny Depp. Johnny Depp. Johnny Deppppppppp! Lisa is drooling and so am I. He is chewing gum. He looks luscious and lovely in a brown suit with a brown fedora. His paramour, Vanessa Paradis, is wearing some black ruffled thing. A big publicist guy in a tux literally pulls Johnny away from Lisa Ling and steers him toward the entrance so the show can begin.