Click below to read Britney Spears' latest letter to her fans in which she both clarifies and explains her thoughts, hopes and dreams.
And now, for KQ's academic analysis of her letter:
Such an important treatise from our pop icon, Britney.
At first, she reveals her flawed nature, thus making her like ALL OF US. She makes resolutions. Yet she, like us, has trouble sticking to them.
Then she moves on to clarify, nay to enlighten us about what she TRULY MEANT. She meant a break. Not in a good-bye sense, but more in a "break" sense. A la Ross and Rachel on "Friends." However, much like R&R, there was inherent confusion. Much as Ross thought a "break" meant that it was okay to sleep with the copy girl, Rachel did not. Just as when Britney said she was taking a break, it was not forever or forever-ever-ever. Just a break from the icky part of her fame. Not the good parts. Like having money and marrying the goateed indigent.
She mentions the True Masters and what she has learned from them. Yes.
Soon, we move on to her Feminist Manifesto, as much as Britney can muster one. SHE will be the one pushing for a new video, when the mean record company would not allow it. SHE would be co-directing because SHE knows the true meaning of the feminine life forms, which as she so aptly describes, "alters the entire feel."
Now it is on to her pets, all female dogs (perhaps "bitches?") yet with cute, endearing infantilized names. And their own rooms. And dressers. And baby chandeliers.
Baby? Yes, baby. All of this leads to the fact that Brit wants a baby.
The True Masters have told her thus.