This is an excerpt from a brilliant 2002 article in Salon (www.salon.com) by Cintra Wilson about the scariness of Tom Cruise at the 2002 Oscars. Oh, how relevant this article is today, especially after Tom's weird on-air spat with Matt Lauer.
Remember people, Tom KNOWS about psychiatry. And Matt Lauer? Does. Not. So there.
From the article:
"I must warn the world about Tom Cruise. I feel he is an utterly terrifying Superior Life Form, with the power to melt heads and braid spines. His eyes are as hard, shiny and brutally penetrating as diamond drill-bits. The new braces on his teeth suggest that he is erasing all that remained of his tiny imperfections, and he is now metamorphosing into Ultra Super Perfection Man 3000. I fear his intense, mind-beating politeness, his titanium imperviousness to human weakness, his barking power-laugh.
"Movies make a little bit of magic touch our lives," he commanded us to acknowledge, with steely resolve and Mach-5 mega-humorlessness.
People in the audience started laughing, until they realized that Tom was Not Being Funny At All. He was chosen to frankly address the post-Sept. 11 whither-the-Oscars conundrum head-on.
"Should we celebrate the magic the movies bring? Now?" Tom asked, his eyes boring into the eyes of the TV multitudes and implanting rays of total domination.
"Dare I say it?"
He flashed a smirk with his robotically flawless teeth.
"More than EVER," he hissed, laying on his most Extreme Scientological Unction.
He had been commanded by the Elders to Obi-Wan-Kenobi-ize the audience into rebelieving in the importance of the obscenely superfluous Oscars. Tom Cruise is becoming the Scary Flaming Eye from "The Lord of the Rings," and I fear that nobody can stop him.
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